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Re: Truth in Lies 5


The end. Part 1.

A beautiful summer's morning in heart of old England, the greenbelt blooms with poppy red and ancient oak trees stand tall. Down a country lane nearby, cars flow towards a rural medieval church.

Exiting the cars, the mourners.
This is a day of sadness. A funeral.

From each car, streams of people exit in tears and with sullen, miserable faces. One woman wails and faints to the ground. It is that overly dramatic woman from Derek's 'Most Spooky' show, Yvette. Another in mass of people, smiles gleefully, the enigmatic John Wusso. For this day for him means only one thing; money, and lots of it as he sells off his cock-art collection at inflated 'death' prices. All the more the better as plans to finally finance his epic Night of the Living Dead sequel, titled 'Ben's Revenge'. As the first of the two funeral hearses passes he pats it. Inside a coffin and floral display with the name 'DEREK' and giant penis arranged skilfully with flowers and a piece of his cock-art. Another hearse follows suit behind. The name 'DAVID' is spelled in turquoise coloured flowers. A painting sits at back of the hearse of a naked David Pike lying on a cashmere rug, in front of an open fire. In the painting he strokes a ginger cat. The painting is oddly signed 'T Turner'.

By the entrance of the church several bare-chested, nerdy looking men in turquoise hot pants protest the funeral, heckling the mourners and holding signs aloft. 'Pike is not dead' one reads, whilst another reads 'American Tragedy concert was a psy-op – Pike and Okra did not die'. A mourner steps forward and chargers towards them angrily. He's a large fat man, dressed in black like so many, but also wearing bright yellow sunglasses. It's one of Derek's old friends, a private collector of his cock-art paintings. The wrestling legend that is Rikishi. A nerd steps forward and stands his ground, pointing angrily at his own sign that reads 'PIKE IS ALIVE!'. The wrestlers clobbers the nerd around the head with a swift right-handed chop, grabbing the sign with his left hand. He tears the signs into little pieces and yells “Have some god-damn respect!”. The Pike nerds aren't to be seen anymore. They run away pathetically, arms flailing.

Mourners pour into the church, about a hundred or so. Many burst into hysterics as David's favourite song plays on specially mounted speakers that sit on the grass outside the church. 'No matter what' by the 90's boyband, Boyzone plays. A tearful Grace Jones tosses a red rose at David's coffin as it is lifted into the air and onto the shoulders of gathering pallbearers. Several more lift Derek's coffin. David's ex-wife Morag, a large, morbidly obese woman clutches her crutches as she ambles to the back of the coffins, where more close family and friends gather. John Wusso giggles as she almost stumbles over. Then he coughs to hide this. The wrestler Rikishi gives him a dirty look.

'My heart will go on' by Celion Dion plays now in the background. A personal favourite of Derek's. A giant screen outside the church flickers into life. It shows pictures of Dave and Derek, as children, then as adults. A picture of Derek possessed on 'Most Spooky' sends Yvette into further nervous agitation.

Many faces stand out in the crowd. Alex Cones and Gary Busey act as pallbearers with David's coffin. At the gates of the church a group of smokers puff away, among them Phil Collins, Bono and Bob Geldoff. Though the three never knew David or Derek, they came to pay their respects as gathering paparazzi snap pictures of them. The pallbearer's on Derek's coffin include John Edwards, the world renowned psychic, David Hasselhoff, cock-art friends and members of the 'Most Spooky' crew.
A frail Bill Cosby, another avid collector of Derek's cock-art painting dabs at his tears with a white hanky. He sits in a wheelchair, as Morgan Freeman pushes him. Freeman, another cock-art collector looks sombre and pushes out his bottom lip, as if to contain his overwhelming emotion. His eyes well with tears, as he eyes a painting that is displayed on the giant screen, the masterpiece that is 'The astonishment of Steve Austin and the end of the attitude era'. He gently rubs Bill Cosby's shoulder to console his friend and continues pushing the deeply troubled and depressed looking Bill Cosby. Melvin Hagg, the world's greatest arts critic hugs a down and dispirited Roger Moore, as they chat about Derek's gift to world through his art. Prominent members of the art world are present, including also Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst. Hirst comments that he may ask for permission to use Okra body in a week long arts exhibition, featuring Derek Okra being eaten by one of his sharks. On overhearing this, Yvette flies in a rage and slaps him. The brief tension is brought to a sudden halt though as a posh limousine pulls up outside the church. Out steps a woman, draped all in black, carrying a small ginger cat and escorted by the two giant, heavy looking bodyguards. It is Tina Turner.
“Two men enter, no man leave.” She utters under her breath to herself.

Turner gazes at the giant screen, removing her sunglasses carefully. A picture of David in his youth playing championship swing-ball, against Sabdie Backtu.
“Goodbye my love!” She screams theatrically, making all, even the pallbearer's look back at her. She drops to floor in a haze and is helped to her feet by her two bodyguards.

The song 'Words' by FR David plays now as the pallbearers move slowly into the church, followed by the friends and family of David Pike and Derek Okra. Tina Turner, one of the last to enter the church, waves out to no one in particular. As though to the dead in the graveyard. Is there someone out there?

Image
The astonishment of Steve Austin and the end of the attitude era. Derek Okra, 2010. Sold to the Louvre by John Wusso for 150 Million pounds following the death of Derek Okra.

Image
'Life study - Morgan Freeman naked on a unicycle' Derek Okra, 2011. Owned by Bill Cosby. Sold by Roger Moore for £2.5 million pounds. Displayed at the back of the hearse for the funeral of Derek Okra.

Last edited by knights, 8/31/2014, 7:02 pm


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8/30/2014, 9:04 pm Link to this post Send Email to knights   Send PM to knights
 
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Re: Truth in Lies 5


The end. part 2.

Behind a large graveyard statue of an angel, two cloaked monk-like figures peer out as the last of the mourners enter the church.

“This is it brother. The end.” One sighs.
“Yes, so it is. ” The other replies, reluctantly.

They turn away from the church and wander off. They are both hooded and wear flimsy sandals. One pulls down his hood and looks back at the church. It is David Pike.
In the background, the speakers can be heard faintly as Rick Moranis delivers the first eulogy. “This is for David and Derek.” Moranis can be heard saying. A moment later a god-awful and out of tune rendition of the 'The Last Post' can heard being played by Moranis on his bugle.
Dave almost cries inside with laughter at this, as John Wusso is heard beckoning Moranis to “please stop!” This followed by Moranis, cutting his bugle playing short and telling Wusso to “!@#$ off!”

“Come on Dave, let's get out of here!..NOW!” Derek's bemoans his friend.
“Okay, I'm coming. Let's go, fella.” Dave says, hoping over a grave, respectful of the real dead.
 
David turns back to his friend and they continue their journey away from church and help each other over a crumbling stone wall. They walk off down a country lane, hoods up at a slow sorrowful pace.

Five minutes later...

“Did you see that!?” Derek says, pointing up at sky between the trees down this lane.
“Huh? What?..What is it now, Derek?” Dave replies scratching at his balls through his robe.
“I saw a UFO, Dave! On my life, I did. A UFO!!”
“A UFO?”
“Yes, an unidentified flying object!”
“Ah, I see. Dave says with a wry smile.

Seconds later a massive explosion can be heard in the distance, making Derek jump out of skin. Dave looks back in the direction of the church that is now far off in the distance and unseen. A plume of black, thick smoke appears from the brow of the hill in that direction. He checks his watch, the time reading '12.15' and knods to himself, smiling.

“What the..” Derek says, in shock.
“It WAS aliens!” Dave replies, grabbing at Derek's robe, shaking him. “C'mon Derek, we must leave this place, NOW!”
“Yes!” Derek says, now scarpering down the lane, awkwardly in his sandals.
Dave chases after him, laughing with each step.

The previous day...
Dave stands in a red britsh telephone box, tapping his fingers against the glass pane as the phone rings.
“Hello.. Hello, yes. Is this the Royal anti-terror hotline?”
“Yes.” A commanding, female voice responds.
“I have some information, regarding a plot to kill our King and saviour, Patrick Stewart.”
“Yes, I'm listening, sir. What information is this?”
“Several Americans and anti-monarchists are gathering at a church under the pretence of there being a funeral tomorrow. There's been talk of abducting or killing the king and even bombs amongst these traitors.”
“Oh my!”
“Yes, oh my. This is serious. These people are serious. Rikishi, an American anti-monarchist has talked of becoming a suicide bomber to put an end to the king's reign. They are gathering arms and will bring down the king if they are not stopped soon. This meeting is your only shot at taking them down. It basically an anti-stewart, nazi rally, dammit! It must be stopped! You hear me!”
“Pardon, sir. Nazi rally?”
“Yes, they are Nazi's too.”
“Right, sir - American, anti-monarchist, anti-Stewart Nazi's?
“Yes, exactly.”
“Hold on a moment, sir. I'm going to put you through to our drone response unit.”
“Brilliant!”
“Pardon, sir.”
“Oh..Thank you. Thank you for your help. The king is my hero.”

Image

Last edited by knights, 8/30/2014, 9:24 pm


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8/30/2014, 9:05 pm Link to this post Send Email to knights   Send PM to knights
 
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Re: Truth in Lies 5


The end. part 3. Final part.

Back at the church, a bloodied Wusso examines his wounds amid the chaos and carnage. The church is in ruins, smashed to pieces, open and exposed. Pockets of fire are here and there, thick black smoke is everywhere. He looks down and sees a bugle, still being clasped by a hand.
“Rick?!” Wusso chimes.
As some smoke clears, he realizes the arm and hand are dismembered from the body of Rick Moranis. Moranis lies severely injured on the alter, his head bobbing up and down on a step.
“!@#$.” Moranis says, fading in and out of consciousness. He shuts his eyes once, and he never opens them again. Wusso finds him, shakes him and it occurs to him how lucky he is himself to be alive. He has a few cuts to his head and he limps about on a sore leg, but he's practically escaped uninjured compared to all the others. At least he's standing, he thinks to himself. The smoke clears on the alter and he sees the cross in all its glory and at this moment decides to commit himself completely to god. He drops to his knees, clutching the remaining hand of the now dead, Rick Moranis. He weeps, everything so clear to him now. Wusso's hearing is temporarily gone, so he can't hear that music set-up has malfunctioned and now plays the song 'Celebration' by the 70's dance group, Kool & the gang. Another of Derek's favourite songs, that was to be played at the end of funeral.
Wusso chokes on the smoke and decides now is a good time to leave. He leaves Rick.
“Goodbye, friend.” He says loudly, unable to hear his own words. Wusso then carefully steps over the injured and dead, emerging outside the church to his escape. In the open, away from the smoke, he realises furthermore what a miracle it is that he's alive. Everybody is dead, it seems. Or not.
“Help me” a voice cries from inside the church. Wusso, his hearing returning somewhat hears it.
He returns to the smouldering ruins of the church. He rescues Rikishi, who was trapped under a stone plinth. How he finds the strength to do this, he decides is god channelling strength through him. Moments later he helps a more than five others.
As the six survivors lay in various states of distress on the grass away from the church, Wusso stands, proud of himself. He looks to sky. “I know my purpose.” He says to the heavens above. “I will help the needy, the poor, the sick, the dying. I will be a humble servant of god.”

As he utters those last words he is tackled to ground by several men in army uniforms. On the ground he looks up to five rifles pointing at his head.
“You are under arrest, traitor.” A fat-headed soldier says, “As are the rest of you.”

At the gates of the church, King Patrick Stewart leans against the wall proudly admiring the carnage of the drone strike he authorised.

Among the injured, Martin Short. He's dragged to his feet by the soldiers and led away, feet dragging clumsily against the floor.
“Patty!” Short cries in an pain-filled gasp.

King Patrick Stewart examines the man as he's dragged past him. He doesn't recognise him at all, being all bloodied and dust covered.
“Traitor!” Stewart says with disdain, spitting at the man.
“It..It's me.” Martin utters in pain.
“PRINCE MARTIN?!” Stewart says shocked, his eyes widening.
“Yes, the very same.”
At this moment, King Patrick Stewart, his face drained of pride, realises the drone strike has been gigantic mistake.
“My god....HELP THESE PEOPLE! DON'T ARREST THEM!” Stewart orders the soldiers. “We've been had!”

In total a final number of 10 survive, including John Wusso. About 150 are dead. Some say an angel-like figure could be seen in the ruins of the church. Rikishi, a witness to this, states that it was none other than his former wrestling foe, Steve Austin. The figure was said to have caressed the dead and dying, before hastily running away with ghosts of Bill Cosby and Tina Turner.

Last edited by knights, 8/31/2014, 6:33 pm


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8/31/2014, 6:29 pm Link to this post Send Email to knights   Send PM to knights
 


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